There is nothing personal about success or failure although many people take them personally. For many, failure is especially more hurtful and even shameful. The truth is, there is really no success or failure. There is only the right way or the wrong way of doing things and the secret is to know it as early and as efficiently as possible. To be successful, you need to do the right things the right way and, sometimes, at the right time. Imagine what happens if you drive a vehicle the wrong way. First, you will not reach your destination. Secondly you will be delayed. Thirdly, you will be forced to find the righ way once again. Now imagine what happens if you not only drive on a wrong lane but also in a wrong direction. This will probably cost you a lot more than you can even imagine. You will encounter the incoming traffic every step of the way and may end up hurt and injured. Life is similar or perhaps even worse than the roads upon which we drive. In life every road that you come across is just a one-way road. You cannot reverse or turn back. If you find yourself in the wrong direction or on a wrong lane, you have to keep moving in the same direction for sometime before you find a safe exit and find your direction and the correct lane once again.
Remember this. There is no failure or success on the path of life. There is only the right way of doing things and the wrong way of doing things. There is only a right direction and there is a wrong direction. If you are not successful in any venture, don't beat yourself with negative self-talk. Don't attribute your failure to your personal talents and skills. Accept it as doing something wrong. Analyze what happened and try to do it the right way. See what others have done. Know what the experts in the field have to say about it. Read help manuals and information left by others about their experiences. Work out different alternatives, without losing focus on your goals. Keep doing and keep trying till you are on the right lane. Focus on the "how" of doing and sooner or later you will find the right method. So, next time when depressing and deprecating thoughts enter your mind about your effort or your failure, remember the following.
1. Don't blame God or your friends of family for your failures. They are not responsible for what happens in your life.
2. Accept self-responsibility for the events in your life. You make things happen through your actions and decisions.
3. Know that there is neither success nor failure. There is a right way and wrong way and there is a right direction and a wrong direction.
4. When things go wrong, try to find the right way and the right direction. Gather information. Analyze what happened. Think of alternatives and keep implementing them till you find the right method and right direction. If you persevere you will find the right way and the right direction.
Source:©Jayaram V. Jayaram V is the author of Think Success: A Collection of Writings on Success and Achievement Through Positive Thinking. His next book The Awakened Life is due for publication soon.